gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
