Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
