His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
