i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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