She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
