She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
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I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
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DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I need a beard to bite.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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