she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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