I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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