And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Ladies don't puke and tell
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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