I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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