i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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