sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
