wat bout pragnant strippers??
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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