____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
