he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
