So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize