On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
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This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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