just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
