Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
