cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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