Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
