I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
