I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
