I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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