Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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