So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
