The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
