living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Randomize