your thong is hanging out like whoa
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize