Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize