I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
