Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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