The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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