Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
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