definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
