Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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