We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
