im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
