Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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