So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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