I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize