I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize