I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
