Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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