I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize