I wish you could order shots online.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
