You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
It's blow job season.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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