I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
