How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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