Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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