ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
