god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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