well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
