fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
