And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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