I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
