her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i just sent this text using only my big toe
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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