Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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