he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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