There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
