oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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