I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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