She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Blood and glitter go together right?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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