And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
