i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
