YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
