how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
