Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
