just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
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