Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
