1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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