Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
